not even that

It takes God all of 0.2 seconds to make me realize that this life is not about me.  Yep, read that again.  It's not. about. me.  On Friday, I posted this.  And it was real to me.  I'd felt so agitated and worked up lately that I could barely contain myself and so then, I'd decided to put it out there.  to share it.  and God said, "Hey!  Hey you there!  Life is good!  It's always good."  And overnight, literally, I felt brand new.  Sunday, not knowing a thing about my strife, Steve drove that point home for added measure.

Though there are days when I grow weary, weak, breathless, forgetful, God's timing is always perfect.

"Every scar tells a story.  Scars are the stories of our lives." Jesus scars tell the story of his love. for me. for you. for mankind.

Isaiah 41:10 ~ "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

You are valuable because you exist. Not because of what you do or what you have done, but simply because you are. –Max Lucado 

I spent Spring Break with my children.  I had big plans for our week but, those plans quickly faded away and other things fell into their places.  We hosted friends and played inside until the middle of the week or so when the weather changed its tune.  The kids went out to play two square, swung on tire swings, played in the sand box, hid in the barns and wagon, and rode bikes and the four-wheeler.

I spent the weekend with my incredible husband.  He plowed our garden and then came down with some nasty little cold bug.  So we watched movies and I waited on him, making tea with lemon and honey and cinnamon, hot apple cider and whatever else he called for.  He's quite self-sufficient though so most of what he needed, he didn't ask for.  He simply got up and got it himself, despite me asking numerous times, "Do you want this?  Do you want that?"

After church on Sunday, we had friends over for lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon outside until they left just before dinnertime.  She and I sat in lawn chairs talking about life.  The men and children shooting bows and BB guns and playing in the yard.  The dogs exploring. 

All around me, God's wonder shows itself.  Spring is a glorious time for rebirth, to renew and rejoice.  Yep, you can bet I'm basking it.



right where we need to be

I've had a lot of revelations in the last year or so.  I look back and see how God has prepared us in so many ways for the life we are now living and for little things along the way.  Just this week, again, I was reminded of God's perfect placement and timing.

Over the weekend, one of Miss K's friends wanted to come over and hang out but, we had an extremely busy weekend planned.  Instead, I told her Monday would be perfect because it was a holiday and we had nothing on the books.  So, we picked her up Monday and stayed busy all day having fun - shopping, Wii, crafting.  At lunchtime, she told us her grandma was having surgery that day and the hospital wasn't allowing any visitors under 18 due to the flu being so rampant.  She explained further that it was surgery for breast cancer and Miss K perks up and says, "My grandma had breast cancer too."  Friend's mother texted me later to thank me for keeping her girl busy and her mind off things.  And it occurred to me that God put us all where he wanted us to be on that day.  We helped her, she helped us.

I haven't talked to my brother since we were home for the holidays.  He started a new job with crazy hours and no one's really heard from him.  So, I texted to ask him something and inquired about his new job.  He explained it wasn't his ideal job - long commute, in the city - but he was making good money.  We talked about how money isn't everything and I told him God has a way of putting us where He needs us, even when it's not always where we'd like to be and it isn't always comfortable but, God stretches us and it all works out in the end.  I know he's aware of these things but it's always good to hear them again, to know that other people have been there, that they're rooting for you.

Miss K and I had a talk not long ago about one of her friends and how this friend's life would be changing in the future, much like ours did.  I told Miss K that this was her chance to be supportive, encouraging and mindful of the changes that'll take place.  In my eyes, she has a bag full of experience in life changing events for someone of her age and it's her chance to be a mentor of sorts.  Again, God's been preparing her to help others and placing her right where she needs to be.

God's timing is always perfect and He's constantly stretching us and forming us for His glory and to serve others. 

Small Group Week 1: Becoming a Cheerful Giver

Inside every Christian is a God-inspired desire for a generous life: a life tailored around His example of selflessness and sacrifice.
 
I don't write every week about our Small Group meetings but, tonight marked Week 1 of November's "Hitting Play through Disciplines of Action - Becoming a Cheerful Giver" and it hit me like a ton of bricks.
 
We have been fortunate throughout our life together, the Mister and I.  We've tried our best to be responsible with money.  I think I can safely say, for the most part we have.  There are always those instances when hindsight is 20/20 and you can't help but say "That was silly.  We should've done this..."  We've never had to borrow money from friends or relatives.  I don't say that in a high and mighty sorta way, but am humbled by the things that've allowed us to live and give the way we have.  We've been extremely blessed in many, many ways.
 
What are some ways that God has been extravagantly generous to you?
Wow, how do I count the ways?  Recently, we have experienced so much in part to so many people. 
 
We came to this little town to start a new life together.  It all began with a dream after an unfortunate turn of events.  People called us crazy but, once on the path, friends helped point us in the direction we needed to go.  We never knew how well-received we'd be as outsiders into a new place.  It was a bit off the beaten path, a little out of the way but, he came to church here.  He told me of the town and I was blown away once I experienced it for myself.
 
We met incredible, incredible people who opened their home to us without even knowing them.  It was nothing short of amazing, their hospitality, their love.  Fast forward, after relaying a conversation Mister C and friends had, I could only think of how I would do this differently if given the chance again.  Tears flooded my eyes and I realized quite a bit of my angst and troubles here have been over the details of it all.  How this all seemed incredibly unfair.  In addition to feeling far, far from home, I've felt like we were a burden, such a burden.
 
After tonight's study, I realized a few things.  Through their tremendous blessings, we've been able to pay it forward.  It's not always been a financial sacrifice, some times it's been giving of my time or my skills but, because of them I've been able to...

• bake pies for the Fall Festival (eleven to be exact) with proceeds benefiting our church
• make casseroles, pies, desserts and other food for the 2nd Monday Meal
• watch the W kids when needed (but not nearly as much as I'd like)
• collaborate on meals so that we may fellowship with the W family and lessen the burden of feeding 10 mouths
• donate a generous amount of money to a family in need
• lastly, my children are ecstatic to see me at school events and performances

I'm sure there are more Mister could add but, that's a start.  I hope our friends find it honoring that we haven't squabbled away money on frivolous things but, allowed God to use us as conduits of His love, poured out into the world and into the hearts of all those who we touch daily.  This community which has so warmly embraced us deserves to see, feel and hear the love of God each and every day.

While this makes me see our time here in a different light, it doesn't lessen the heaviness that's lay so long on my heart.  I plot in my mind how to make this up to them.  I try to smile but, really, I want to hug them and weep on their shoulder and tell them how regretful I am that we've been here this long.  Again, I am reminded that we've been able to accomplish many acts of generosity because of them.  And so, I try not to dwell on this.  I try to see how generosity has trickled down from one to another to another.  That the generosity and patience shown to us is undeserving, like the love of The Father, who sent his only son for us.  This is the kind of love and generosity, we should show others daily.  Watch this...

sweet morsels of gratitude

Today's been a rough one despite seeing the sun shine for one of the first times in almost a week.  So, instead of dwell on the seedy, I'd love to tell you what I'm grateful for, how my God has gifted me so much when I am so unworthy.  This, too, shall be a great day.

Today, I am thankful for...
 
- Christian Music.  While putting together a puzzle, Miss K gets her iPad, turns on some tunes and it's Christian music.  {Might I interject y'all?  At one point in her life, she said to me, "You always make us listen to this."  Not true friends.  I listened to it often because it kept me (and continues to keep me) closer to God and what he wants me to be daily but, I didn't make them and it wasn't what we always listened to.  Thankyouverymuch.}  This leads me to my second stop...

- This Little Town.  Tonight I'm thankful for this little town who thinks it's awesome to love God.  At home (in VA) God was always there but for Miss K's age group, he was someone found in the background.  Here, he rocks this joint!  Youth group meets every week and takes fantastic excursions out and about.  Going to speaking events, service projects, etc.  God is here and he's on the forefront.
 
- Movie Night.  Since moving here, family movie night has become a staple.  When we're not out and about on the weekends, we rock Netflix and popcorn in the parents' bed like its no body's business!
 
- Parks.  We have three here, all within walking distance.  It is breathtaking to walk or ride our bikes to the park.  A luxury we've never had.

- Love.  I hear "I love you" more now than ever.  Whenever we get off the phone with someone, we hear it.  People that've rarely said it in the past now declare it open and freely.  It rolls off their tongue like butter.  Have I ever mentioned how much I love butter?

- Dinner parties with friends.  We spend more time with friends now than ever.  In part because there is no family (let me repeat myself...NO FAMILY) here.  So, when we're with friends, it's like family.  Who says you can't choose your family?  I believe God plants people in your path who you come to love just as much or even more as your own blood kin.  And it never fails that you always call each other for some epicurean fellowship at just the right moments.

- Blogs.  I read a lot over here.  There's wisdom in her words, raw honesty, and I almost always find God there.  (She's one of my pretend bff's. snicker)  Tonight, I read some posts she'd shared that "hit me right in the gut" (her words).  You should check them out here and here.  And just for the record, we have an old-style pump at the local gas station and I go inside to pay but, that post was a little wake up call (and guilty!  I do text my neighbors.)

Sunday night small group - testimony, week 1

Sunday night's small group focused on "Testimony: Telling the Story with our Life".  It was the first in this month's 4-week study and week #1 is always the "What?" and "Why?" - exploring the definition and importance.  I sometimes feel nervous about talking to other people when it comes to God, specifically when you have a purpose in mind.  Not if it's another believer, but when speaking with an unbeliever or someone in question, it's difficult to anticipate how the conversation will go.  Will they be hostile and debate what you're saying, be curious or completely open?  So, I found this to be an interesting topic. 

We read through 1 Peter 1, broke everything down by verse and this is part of the discussion that followed...

"What word comes to mind when you hear the word Evangelism?"  Fear, Mormons & Jehovah's witness, tracts and knocking on doors, anxiety, pressure

"What if evangelism was less about defending a doctrine than delighting in a person?  What if our effectiveness in sharing the gospel was less about a polished technique than a vibrant love relationship with Jesus?  What if our witness is more about who we are than what we can do?

The truth is we are constantly evangelizing.  The way we live our lives is constantly telling people how we define 'good news'.  Our lives, attitudes, actions, reactions and words tell a story of where we have placed our hope."

"Do you think our culture uses the label 'born-again' to identify a subset of people within a larger group of 'Christians'?  Why?"  Just over seventy percent of people today call themselves Christians.  Those who are "born-again" make up only a small percentage of that and are labeled weird, conservative and fanatical but, Peter was saying this of all true followers of Christ [that they should be "born-again"].

"Evangelism is not about winning people to a religion.  We are not seeking converts.  If we were trying to do these things, our approach would be entirely different.  How so?"  It would be more of a "marketed approach", thinking that what comes out of our mouths is going to "save" someone.  More about having a systematic list of verses we use when we witness. 

I have to know and understand that "new birth" is a supernatural event...something I can't accomplish.  I'm not able to "save" anyone, that's in God's hands.  I can share my testimony through the way I live my life and through speech but, the fact that I can't save someone, this is good, because it takes the pressure off of me, the weight off of my back.  I can witness to someone all I want but, God is the one in control.

There are opportunities daily to live and speak about where we've placed our hope and the excitement we have in that hope.  Therefore, evangelism is a call to holy living.  Peter writes in v.13-16...

• prepare your minds for service
• have self-control
• put all your hope in the gift of grace
• be obedient
• do not live as you did in the past
• be holy in all you do

"Now that you have made yourselves pure by obeying the truth, you can have true love for your Christian brothers and sisters.  So love each other deeply with all your heart." 1 Peter 1:22  Therefore, we can live out our testimony and we can speak it in love to others.

That's just the tip of the iceberg and definitely a great study!  I'm excited for next week when we talk about the "Who?" - Be Who You Are (Evangelism must always flow from identity!)

make your motive...

At church Sunday, I watched a little girl be handed to her granddad and she wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed tightly.  Her eyes, like gleaming diamonds, beamed with delight.  It broke me.  Completely.  At that very moment, my heart shattered into a million tiny pieces.  I tried for what felt like an eternity but in all actuality was probably only a minute or two, to pull it together.  I couldn't manage and luckily, we were sitting near the end of our row toward the back. I ducked out and headed for the ladies' room where I grabbed toilet paper and stood there in front of the window.  I cried and I pleaded for God to give me the strength to make it through this service, through this day.



During church, I heard these words...

 

I wrote them down in my Bible and they stuck like glue. They ring in my head and they tell me, if you make your motive God's glory every.single.day., everything, everything will fall in to place.  So, while I am being tried daily, I am also reminded that God put me here for a purpose, for His glory. 

A friend once told me that she could look back at her paths and see how God had prepared her for the season she was in.  I felt puzzled.  I wasn't sure what God had planned for me and I didn't know what direction my life would take.  Even on rough days, without a shadow of a doubt, I know that this is where I am supposed to be.  I believe it with my heart and I know that God's got big plans for me.  This coffee shop/bakery ministry is what I was made to do.  It's what I love. 

While I wait for it to be prepped...new windows, a new kitchen, paint, etc. I anticipate life in that place.  The sweet smell of sugar and flour, pastries, pies and coffee wafting through the air.  I dream of the people who will fill that place, the ministry it will be, the memories we'll make.  Ever since I can remember, I have loved working in the kitchen.  I'm most happy in the warmth of a hot oven, surrounded by spices and the aroma of delectable treats.

My mind has been pleasant and short for the last two days. It doesn't dwell on the "what I want", the "what I have" or "don't have" or even the "I miss". It lingers not. Yesterday, my mind knew that I needed to bake pumpkin pies for the community dinner, that there were two loads of clothes that needed to be done by Tuesday morning, and that it's "Meet the Teacher Night" at school. Today, it's been to straighten up, finish cleaning the bathroom, send out e-cards and a couple of letters, and that tonight we have a XC meet. That's it. That's all.

With God's glory as my motive, I shouldn't be concerned about me, I should fix my eyes upon Jesus and the rest will fall into place.  I'm working on this, taking it day by day.  And slowly, things are falling into place.

last Sunday night

Last Sunday night, we walked up the street two blocks to the pastor's house.  From there, we joined his family and walked another block where we gathered with friends, strangers, and neighbors in the yard, on the sidewalk, and in the street.  There, lived a man named Tab.  I can't say that I personally know him, but I've heard lots of good things about him and it's something when you're reputation precedes you.

Tab had cancer and it had spread.  He was undergoing chemo treatments to fight the cancer and it was taking its' toll on his body.  He would start another long week of treatments on Monday and be hospitalized for the duration.  So instead of meeting with our small groups, we were called to action by one Mrs. Fisher.  She felt a burden on her heart for him and so she rallied everyone she knew and they rallied everyone they knew. 

I couldn't help but get emotional. It was so incredible to watch as we walked, the droves of people coming from all directions. Walking, driving, they came from the east, west, north and south until we all met in this one common place for the good of one man this community had come to love.  We quietly littered this area in front of his house and Pastor Steve gave us instructions on what to do next and led us in a prayer.  Without their knowing, we dispersed into little groups and surrounded their house, peppering their yard.  Some sat in small circles, us, we stood and held hands.  We prayed aloud.  Prayers of strength, peace, courage.  Prayers of healing.

With Kyle leading, we sang songs of worship and praise, lifting Tab up.  And While I have never met him, nor his family, I do know the devastation cancer causes.  It effects all those around you and it is never kind.  We finished with people telling Tab how much they loved him, how much they were praying for him and how much he'd done to better the youth of this small town.  I left, saddened by what this man and his family were going through but, on a high, because our God is good and sovereign.

So, as I sat this morning, with the whir of the washing machines, I read the first four chapters of Nehemiah.  Chapter 4, Verse 20 reads..."Wherever you hear the sound of the trumpet, assemble there.  Our God will fight for us."  Immediately, I thought of Mrs. Fisher.  She heard the sound of the trumpet and as we stormed the heavens in prayer for Tab and his family, I pray that even today, God is fighting for us, for them.  I thank you, Mrs. Fisher for your obedience, for your leadership, for your love of our God and his people.

like gold

My day has been hurried and chock full of back to back events.

It has gone smoothly and found unexpected inconveniences but,

I have yet to say it was a bad day or

that there are things that can't be overcome.

In the middle of it all,

I sat down and I read this and instantly,

I was high on God's utmost goodness and mercy.

Job 23:10

dear c,

I didn't mean to make you sad.  Here, I post what I'm feeling.  A bit of stressed/depressed/aggravated/agitated.  A good bit of happy, good times.  So, I'm sorry.  My intention was never to darken your day or make you second guess what we're doing.  That's the enemy creeping in.  No, my goal was to say, "I love you, M.S. and we may be traveling 800 miles away, but we will not forget you and my hopes are that you will not forget us.  We do not plan on abandoning your friendship, not for a dag-gum second.  And I will refuse to not be friends or not send Christmas cards, etc. just because we're not in this county anymore.  There's facetime sister.  And I expect to see your bright eyes and smiling face there!"

I believe God has a plan for us.  It may seem complicated right now, but thank God, we don't get to see the big picture, because wouldn't we really feel overwhelmed.  So a while ago, I agreed to take life day by day and while the strange smell wafting through our kitchen is eery and has been for two days now and I may scream from time to time at our children almost daily, I'm just getting through today and I'll worry about that weird odor tomorrow and I'll hug and kiss our monkeys every night and sing songs and be silly until I run out of patience and voice.  No worries.  The smell - It's most likely the full bag of garbage that's been waiting to go outside all week.  The kids - I bought a new CD of sing along fun that we've been rockin' and Miss K and I have been bonding amidst french-braiding.  We'll make it through, you'll see.

So these are for you...

- Ann Voskamp

Romans 8:14

Romans 8:28-30

Romans 8:31

Gensis 50:20

- Mary Coleman

Philippians 3:12-14

Philippians 4:4-9

Philippians 4:11-13

Romans 5:3-5

These are some of the most treasured passages in scripture for me and they always give me reassurance.  I may have to read them over and over and recite them to myself all day, but they remind me of the hope that is found only in our Lord who is all-powerful, all-knowing, and he will not fail us.  So my hope is that you can find reassurance in them too.  Don't forget that God has gone before us and prepared the way.  If it is meant for us to be there, we will be.  Put your worries away and put your trust in him.  And remember, "Don't tell God how big your problems are, tell your problems how big your God is."  I love that.

One more thing, I was talking to a friend this afternoon and she was asking how things were coming along with the job/move, etc.  We talked for a while and she said, "I'm so excited for you guys!  We've thought about moving but, I just couldn't.  Now, with you guys doing this, I think we should just do it, just move."  She's like me - grew up here, never left, everything's familiar.  I thought that was kind of cool.  She encouraged me by saying that I encouraged her, but I never knew I was doing anything besides having faith in God to get us through.  See, his light is shining in us and through us.  Keep your head up. 

I LOVE YOU.

just imagine

My friend, D, has been missing lately from my church life. Her precious brand-new baby is keeping her busy and I do miss her, but surely, I understand.

So, since you couldn't be there last night (and I don't have to work tomorrow, I run well on low fuel - only for a time - and decided to pull an all-nighter to catch up on all things computer,) I thought I'd recap for you and anyone needin' a little Jesus, cuz we all do.

We read Luke 1:26-38... (my Bible is the New Century Version, so it'll read a little different than the KJV)
~ During Elizabeth's sixth month of pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin. She was engaged to marry a man named Joseph from the family of David. Her name was Mary. The angel came to her and said, "Greetings! The Lord has blessed you and is with you."

But Mary was very startled by what the angel said and wondered what this greeting might mean.

The angel said to her, "Don't be afraid, Mary; God has shown you his grace. Listen! You will become pregnant and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of King David, his ancestor. He will rule over the people of Jacob forever, and his kingdom will never end."

Mary said to the angel, "How will this happen since I am a virgin?"

The angel said to Mary, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will cover you. For this reason the baby will be holy and will be called the Son of God. Now, Elizabeth, your relative, is also pregnant with a son though she is very old. Everyone thought she could not have a baby, but she has been pregnant for six months. God can do anything!"

Mary said, "I am the servant of the Lord. Let this happen to me as you say!" Then the angel went away. ~

...and Luke 2:1-20...
~ At that time, Augustus Caesar sent an order that all people in the countries under Roman rule must list their names in a register. This was the first registration; it was taken while Quirinius was governor of Syria. And all went to their own towns to be registered.

So Joseph left Nazareth, a town in Galilee, and went to the town of Bethlehem in Judea, known as the town of David. Joseph went there because he was from the family of David. Joseph registered with Mary, to whom he was engaged and who was now pregnant. While they were in Bethlehem, the time came for Mary to have the baby, and she gave birth to her first son. Because there were no rooms left in the inn, she wrapped the baby with pieces of cloth and laid him in a manger (a box where animals are fed.)

That night, some shepherds were in the fields nearby watching their sheep. Then an angel of the Lord stood before them. The glory of the Lord was shining around them, and they became very frightened. The angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I am bringing you good news that will be a great joy to all the people. Today your savior was born in pieces of cloth and lying in a manger."

Then a very large group of angels from heaven joined the first angel, praising God and saying "Give glory to God in heaven, and on earth let there be peace among the people who please God."

When the angels left them and went back to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, "Let's go to Bethlehem. Let's see this thing that has happened which the Lord has told us about."

So the shepherds went quickly and found Mary and Joseph and the baby, who was lying in a manger. When they had seen him, they told what the angels had said about this child. Everyone was amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured these things and continued to think about them. Then the shepherds went back to their sheep, praising God and thanking him for everything they had seen and heard. It had been just as the angel had told them. ~


So, we talked about how God's timing is always perfect.  How He has a plan in everything.  How Mary and Joseph were the keepers of the greatest secret ever.  About how Mary made the decision to trust in the Lord and submit to Him and how she placed her trust in Him.  How incredible! 

Imagine how her life changed in that very instant when Gabriel told her she would become pregnant.  Can you even begin to fathom that?  Here she was, an ordinary girl, a virgin at that, not married - visualize back in those days, the kind of criticism she would endure being pregnant and unwed - and then, to give birth to the son of God Almighty!  Put yourself in her shoes - I, personally, would've freaked!  How could you even start to think about how you would raise that child, the Son of Man!  Makes my head spin just thinking about it.

But read Isaiah 26:3 - "You, Lord give true peace to those who depend on you."  Mary found peace, almost from the get go.  She was a little nervous there for a moment and then, she realized, this is God we're talking about here, there's absolutely no reason for me to worry.  Psalm 34:7 reads, "The angel of the Lord camps around those who fear God, and he saves them."  Wow!  Picture that, you're just walking around, being a child of God and he sends you a beautiful, glowing, stealthy angel with a sword of fire to watch over you.  Awesome!  God is just awesome!  So, my point being, Mary never had the need to worry.  And she knew it.  (We talked about peace some more, reading Philippians 4:4-9 and also John 14:27.)

Lastly, in those days, shepherds were considered unclean and dirty.  Why?  Well, because they were!  Imagine, you're a shepherd, you're camping out in the fields for days and days on end, tending to your sheep.  You haven't had a real bath in quite some time and it's really a blue-collar kinda job.  You know, one where you gotta in there, get your hands dirty, you're working with animals.  So, you're really not seen as being very high up on the totem pole.  But get this!  God chose to tell the shepherds of the birth of Jesus before anyone else knew!  He sent the angel to tell some of the lowest of the people.  And do you suppose that maybe some of those sheep were on their way to being sacrifices for Him?  Hmm, perhaps so. 

Now, this one threw me for a loop and the tears swelled.  I can't conceive what it was like to be the first ones to hear of the greatest news the world would ever hear, and there they stood just little ol' shepherds.  Wow.  That's all I can say is wow.

Vineyard Keepers 1st Annual Retreat

We started out by settling into our cozy little cabins at

Rapidan Baptist Camp.

They're new, ya know?

And quite comfy.

Each cabin held 14 ladies.

Included, were 2 bathrooms, a front and back porch, and a loft.

"For such a time as this" Esther 4:14b -

our theme this weekend for the Vineyard Keepers 1st Annual Retreat.

We spent countless hours preparing for this retreat

and while my family has dearly missed me,

~ I don't say that lightly ~

(they ran to meet me at the door tonight)

I am not remorseful for the time I spent in fellowship with our "creative design team".

Or quitely in prayer and fellowship with my God as I labored away

in the stillness of Miss Nancy's "Craft Wonderland".

It filled my soul working my fingers to the bone for the glory of our LORD and Savior.

And in the end, it was all worth it.

We pooled together our china, antiques, quilts.

Anything and everything vintage.

For the first time since my grandma gave them to me 9 years ago,

I proudly volunteered my china, and silver from my great Aunt Anna.

It was stunning.

And thanks to Kelly and his staff,

we definitely ate like Queen Esther!

We read Psalm 84...

(this is the New Century Version)

Lord All-Powerful,

how lovely is your Temple!

I want more than anything

to be in the courtyards of the LORD's Temple.

My whole being wants to be with the living God.

The sparrows have found a home,

and the swallows have nests.

They raise their young near your altars,

LORD All-Powerful, my King and my God.

Happy are the the people who live at your Temple;

they are always praising you.

Happy are those whose strength comes from you,

who want to travel to Jerusalem.

As they pass through the Valley of Baca,

they make it like spring.

The autumn rains fill it with pools of water.

The people get stronger as they go,

and everyone meets with God in Jerusalem.

LORD God All-Powerful, hear my prayer;

God of Jacob, listen to me.

God, look at our shield;

be kind to your appointed king.

One day in the courtyards of your Temple is better

than a thousand days anywhere else.

I would rather be a doorkeeper in the Temple of my God

than live in the homes of the wicked.

The LORD God is like a sun and shield;

the LORD gives us kindness and honor.

He does not hold back anything good

from those whose lives are innocent.

LORD All-Powerful,

happy are the people who trust you!

Is that not powerful?

Does that not rock your world?

Oh, it sets me on fire!

And if that's not enough,

try reading the NIV!

It's ab-so-lute-ly beautiful.

Just like the decor.

It was amazing how the LORD pulled all of this together.

We still can't get over it.

Every little detail just fell into place.

Just like He'd planned.

Our speaker was amazing.

Her testimony was moving.

Her faith, unshakable.

We even had an afternoon tea.

Complete with hats, scones and all the proper finger foods.

As I wrote in an email this evening,

"It was an awesome weekend filled with spiritual growth,

fun fellowship, and amazing food!"

Blessed be the name of the LORD.

raw

On the soft carpet, I fell to my knees in the doorway of the living room.  The kindness of others overwhelming me.  I thanked God as I felt utterly undeserving and unworthy.  I thanked him for each person who had touched my life on this bright sunny morning.  Thankful for a kind word, many kind gestures.  I sobbed as I begged, "Why me, Lord?  I am so undeserving."  Because you are Mine.  "Yes, I am Yours, but Lord, I have so much to learn, so much to do, I can never repay You and how can I repay these kind souls."  You don't have to He said.

In his book Radical Together, David Platt says "While we can never do enough to earn acceptance from God, Christ offers this acceptance as a gift when we trust in him."  During revival last week, Larry Johnson said this, "Park yourself by the promises of God's word and you can be sure he'll pass by there in His own time.  Just wait there!  You can count on God to supply everything you need."  I have parked myself by His promises and I have and am waiting on him.  Day after day, week after week, He has shown His unending love and devotion to me.

So as I sit, now dazed by the pouring of His love exhibited through others, I am grateful.  Truly grateful.  My mind races with possibilities of how I can show my gratitude to these people.  In time, His time, we'll figure that out.

Thank you, compassionate, gracious, merciful folks, for making my day, my week, maybe even my year.  This may have seemed small to you, but it made a world of difference to me.

With love,

it's all YOU

Lord, I prayed that you would hold the rain.

I never prayed that it wouldn't be too cold.

What ever will I do?

I've planned outdoor activities.

The forecast says FIFTY-FOUR DEGREES.

It'll be warmer in Illinois even.

I'm currently expecting SEVENTEEN minis.

I am praying for sun and warmth now, Lord.

How will I ever pull this off?

Lord, I'm praying that you'll take this worry and grant me peace,

that you will make this work and ease my insane mind.

Tomorrow will be trying.

I have errands and cleaning.

Prepping and setting up.

I will not check the weather by the hour.

I'll pray all day long without ceasing.

I'll storm the heavens for good weather.

Am I asking too much?

All the while He says, "Be still and know that I am God."

And "Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,

whose confidence is in Him."

So, Lord, I am putting my trust in you.

It's in Your hands and I'm just gonna carry on as planned.

I'm waiting on YOU to see this through.