Friday, April 13, 2012


After spending a week there, we've returned from "The Prairie State"
and Lord knows, I'd rather be there more than any where at all.

 This new place where cornfields sprawl the land, it was beautiful.
Different from anything we've seen before.
It was flat, sweeping, and vast.

There are few pictures from this trip.
Why?   Well, I felt cursed by my camera. 
As if the click of the shutter would speed up time.
As if leaving it contently in the bag would stop the clock and so,
I dared to touch it until the last few days.
I wanted more than just a week to aimlessly wander around taking pictures.
Weird, I know.

The man, who has gravely missed his daddy from Day One,
was the happiest I've seen him in two weeks.
I can't even begin to explain how sorrowful he's been.
He was my super-happy child and when daddy left to take this new job,
it was like the bottom dropped out of his world.
I'm not gonna lie to you, life has been rough.
But, not this week.

 He's been a crazy-happy boy.
He was joyful about every. little. thing.
Even a slice of bread.

So many times though, he told me he didn't want to leave and I was right there with him,
"I don't wanna leave either, buddy, but we've gotta go home and finish up school."
I dreaded it, packing our things, driving 14 hours to a place he and I'd rather not be.
But we had to.

Now that we're "home", it feels empty and cold without you.
All of our family, friends, animals, belongings,
everything that should feel familiar and comforting, they're not.
I want so badly to lay my head on your chest and fall asleep to the beat of your heart.
It's lonely here and I feel like I'm just going through the motions.
Each day feels like an eternity without you.