Thursday, December 9, 2010

the naked room


After putting a load of clothes in this afternoon, I pulled a rocking chair and my latest read up next to the fire.  I was feeling a bit weary and wanted a moment to myself.  Oh, how nice it was to hear the crackle 'n' pop of the fire, radiating warmth and making me sleepy as I read.  In the background, was the chugga-chugga sound of the washer and the radiance of the sun pouring into my lap, filtered through yellow and white polka-dotted curtains.  Beside me, was the familiar sound of a small boy popping tops off of markers as he quietly colored.  About 10 minutes or so went by before I heard the usual, "Mommy, can you help me?" and at that very moment, the world stopped.  My time of relaxation ended and would not return until after the youngsters and canines hit the hay.  I would not enjoy peace and quiet for hours upon hours and how I yearned for it now.  Events would pass throughout the evening that would make me more and more cranky.  There would be an instance when I thought I was going to shriek from all of the chaotic noise and squealing.  Yet, I held it together and thanked God it was bedtime.  I divvied up vitamins and allergy medicine, asking them to get their toothbrushes and finally, saying prayers and sighing with a relief as they snuggled deep into their covers to endure another night of harsh winter temperatures.  The night was now mine, free to relish however I chose.



I love my children so.
I do.
But I admit,
sometimes I long for...
stillness.
hush.
quiet.
calm.
peace.
For the time when it will be just C and I.
Doing whatever we please.
Without interruption.
And sweet, sweet silence.