Thursday, February 21, 2013

sleep, i don't

Why is it that I can't sleep a wink when you're gone?  Afraid, I'm not.  You know that.  There's something about all the extra space left in the bed and my mind races and can't settle.  My eyelids flutter when I close them and time stands still all day every day.  Take yesterday for instance, the night before I stayed up until 1, yet I cranked out sewing project after another and still had time before the bus came.  I wasn't even tired until we Skyped.

The days just don't go by fast enough. Yesterday, I kicked butt in the sewing room. I watched a movie while I sewed. I talked on the phone while I sewed. I even made another scarf. I think it can clearly be classified as another obsession. Sweaters, that is. There are 4 I pulled out of the goodwill bag. I felt a little guilty. I'm thinking about throwing 2 of them back in there though. So, fly away guilt!  I mean, how many scarves does a girl need?
I lay awake while the kids, dogs and even Sam are fast asleep.  I listen to the hum of the furnace while playing Solitaire for the 865th time and play on until the battery dies.  I've watched too many movies to count.  If I don't, I lay there wishing I could sew but the motor's too loud and our poor man would never get to sleep.  I could wash dishes but ugh!, who wants to do that?!  And everyone begs to sleep in our bed when you're gone.  What's up with that?  I don't cook like I do when you're here.  We live off of frozen pizza, Ramen noodles, cereal and Vienna sausages.  It's disgusting I tell you!  I workout while you're gone but I won't once you get back.  I forget to turn the heat down at night and refuse to do it until I really have to get up.  Don't hate, it falls in your category and I never remember, but by the time you get back, I'll have gotten into the routine and then you'll take over doing it.  And by the time you leave again, I'll have gotten used to you doing it and I'll have to retrain myself all over again.  It's a vicious cycle.

I wonder how you're sleeping.  If you're ever freaked out about bed bugs with all the hotel-hopping you do?  Seems to be a big deal these days with devastating consequences.  I wonder what the air smells like there?  Have you gone down to the water?  Was it like the beach in Chile with little tide pools and lots of creatures?

Snow should be coming in today.  The wind's been steady (really, when is it not?)  I'm a little freaked about all this snow.  Seeing as how there's no wood stove here.  I have visions of us holeing up in our bedroom, wearing fleece jamas and beanie hats, laying under multiple comforters playing Boggle.  We've had several offers to camp out with friends but, we're gonna hold down the fort.  Plus, I don't think our four-legged kids would take too kindly to us leaving them in a frozen house.

Well I'm gonna head off to do somethingAnything, to pass the time.  Enjoy the warmth and the sound of the waves.  I found this lovely note ripped and crumpled behind a box in the hallway when I vaccumed the other day.  It was ever so kindly addressed to me.  I assume it adorned his door at some point and then he got over himself so he destroyed the evidence before it could be found.  Alas, I've unearthed it.

Gosh that kid's a pistol.  If he's half as bad as we were growing up, we are surely in for a ride.