Wednesday, July 27, 2011

a little reflection

Tonight was just what I needed.  Funny how things turn out.  All part of a plan.

After what I would describe as a slightly catastrophic afternoon, I was uplifted by my church family, my sisters in Christ.  Tonight's lesson was on the death of Sarah in Genesis 23.  Sarah lived to be 127 years old and when she passed, Abraham wept and mourned her death.  And after awhile he got up - it does not say how long he mourned, could've been days or weeks, we don't know. 

We all have "human props" in this life.  Someone close to listen when you are troubled, someone to lean on and lift you up.  To Abraham, Sarah was his most important "human prop".  She stood by him when he made wrong decisions.  She followed him as a sojourner for many years.  She was his all.  Now she was gone and after his mourning, he needed to pick up and go on. 

This was the case for us this afternoon.  After a surprising blow, we cried and mourned the loss of something we held important to us.  Then, we picked ourselves up and we did just as Abraham did, we moved on.

I was not prepared for this bombshell, though I knew it was a possibility.  Earlier in the week, after praying, I had found a peace about the situation, but now it seemed the world was falling apart.  I knew it really wasn't, God had a plan, even if we didn't know what it was yet.  But, LORD, you are my shield, my wonderful God who gives me courage ~Psalm 4:3.  A door does not close without another being opened.  LORD, you are my rock, the one who saves me ~Psalm 19:14.   

I have faith, that all will be fine.  That we will be stronger in the end.  Stronger in the Lord.  A stronger marriage.  Stronger individuals.  Our faith will have grown.  And our children will witness this faith and themselves, grow stronger in the Lord.  It will be for His glory.
Our journal assignment was this..."Because of the power of the resurrection, these are my thoughts in reference to my future..."  My faith will be put to the test.  My future is uncertain, but unwavering in my love for the LORD.  This course of events is leading us to a new future.  One that could be very different from our past and present.  I am not afraid of taking new steps.  George Mueller writes "The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith, and the beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety."  I believe this whole-heartedly.  It has been true in my own life and in my own walk.

Lastly, we sang this song and it filled my soul and welled my eyes with tears because at that very moment, that's exactly where I needed to be.  The words...
Surely the presence of the Lord is in this place.
I can feel His mighty power and His grace.
I can hear the brush of angels wings.
I see glory on each face.
Surely the presence of the Lord is in this place.

I am not ashamed.  I am not angry.  I am not disappointed.  I may not always agree, but I am your cheerleader.  I am your follower.  I want to be the wind in your sails.  I want to see you smile.  I want to see you thrive.  I am onboard.  I am ready.