thursday

OK, so the chicken house didn't make the cut afterall.  Between you and me, I'm procrastinating.  It's my nature to push off the cat litter box and shoveling the chicken house.  But, I got the mowing and weedeating done (now I've got the itches despite the shower I took 8 hours ago), yard sale items and boxes organized, laundry, took care of some bills, made a simple dinner and did some short visiting.  Not bad, right?  I even got an entire chapter in while waiting for the man to get out of school.  I'll try to make a better effort to appear here more often, no promises.

the good mama says...

Lately, I've been catching a bunch of flack from my lack of attendance here.  I'm sorry but, life waits for no one and while we had a whirlwind weekend, this week has been just as crazy.  The man is sorrowfully missing his daddy but, in love with the warm weather that allows for bike riding everyday after school.  Miss K is constantly found on the "reading pillow", in the hammock swing or curled up on the couch nose-deep in "The Help".  Now, we're both dying to watch the movie again.

Work is busy.  I had the privilege of working the tent sale last weekend.  It rained and was a bit yuck but, the sun finally came out and warmed things up.  All in all, I had a great time, made some amazing purchases and it kept my mind off of the present.  The kids had a fun day with Nana venturing to some local haunts.  Then, we all met up Saturday evening where we relaxed and munched on their yummy finds.

Easter Break is quickly approaching and I'm excited to be making the trip up to IL to visit C.  Uncle J will be tagging along and we're all ecstatic about that.  I already have plans for our Easter celebration.  Yes, the infamous checklist and groceries are ready.  Miss K asked when we could start packing.  Lord, I love that girl.

That's it in a nutshell.  I've really gotta get to bed.  I've been up late too many nights now.  Tomorrow promises to be busy too...the herb garden needs to be weeded.  The grass needs to be mowed and weed eating needs to be done.  The big garden needs planting.  The good mama says the chicken house needs to be cleaned.  The cat litter box calls.  I'm sure I'm forgetting things and this doesn't even include anything inside.  On top of all this regular busyness, there's soccer, Bible study, kids' choir, and soon to start t-ball.  Now, do you see why I haven't been here?  Oh sista, they ain't enough hours in a day.

deliberate disregard

I've avoided this place completely.  Stayed away intentionally.  I've been using every possible second to savor the smells, the moments, the time that's left.  He asked if I was getting excited, and not to rain on his parade, I am excited for him, but I'm not excited that he'll be there and we'll be here.  That I'll be holding down the fort again.  I'm not excited for the sleepless nights and the long, exhausting days.  That we'll miss him dearly.

I won't list the things he'll miss.  I won't go there.  We'll skip vacation in exchange for short stays that'll equal our driving time or so it seems, and moving.  And we'll have to like road trips, we'll just havta.  We don't travel well unless it's on a plane.  Oddly, that one's easy.  Road trips make us crazy.  When everyone begins to hate the smell of pavement and is sick of their neighbor that's when I'll pull out the "surprise pack".  It works every time.  They'll indulge in travel Bingo, we'll discuss every road sign from here to there, read all the license plates in between and I couldn't forget, "find a yellow car."

Last night, while we were praying, our little man said, "Mommy, I don't know what to pray about."  So, I explained to him that God wanted to hear all of it, not just some, but every little bit.  He wanted to hear the fun stuff, the sad things, the good, the bad, the ugly.  He wants to know when you're confused, hurt, angry, happy, hopeful, silly.  He just shook his head and I hope this short conversation sunk in.  I hope he'll drown his sorrows with Jesus when he's pining for his daddy.  I love the quote, "Don't tell your God how big your problems are, tell your problems how big your God is."

I refuse to let these times get us down. We will not succumb to sadness and misery. We will find joy in the small things and be ever thankful for family and friends, and our God who never leaves our side. It'll be another era of growth for us all. We'll walk away appreciating each other more. Our strengths. Our weaknesses. Our family. Our God.

ah, the moon

Saturday night, the boys were on a hunt, so we ventured out too.  We went visiting, to see some folks that I hold near and dear to my heart.  We stayed out late and the Lord knows we paid dearly for it the next morning, but it was a pleasant time spent with loved ones.  We arrived with caramel frappes and played numerous hands of Uno in which the littles beat the pants off the rest of us.  On the ride home, we spotted the great big moon and we couldn't help but stare.  After putting small people to bed, I grabbed my camera and tripod, and in a hurry, I ran out into the crisp night air and caught this...

head over heels

May I introduce you to my newest, most favoritest piece of jewelry in the world?

I fancied the way she looked, so simple and dainty, in the picture.  Little did I know when she arrived, I would fall head over heels for her.  I held her in my hands and it wasn't her charm.  No sirree, it was what she said.  She softly whispered "dream" but, it spoke volumes to my heart.  This adventure, excitement, apprehension, it's all because of a dream.  One man's dream to be more, to step out - and I commend you.

The countdown says 16(ish) days left.  Our emotions are off the chart right now.  Some days, I'm happy-go-lucky, some days I'm wound up tighter than a rubber band on a 6-foot tall rubber band ball.  I even think Mr. A picked up on it this morning when I playfully/sarcastically, yet somewhat seriously snapped at him saying "And do you want me to warm your coffee?  Make you another cake?"  when he asked me to go get something.  I never claimed to be perfect, but that might possibly be a good way to lose my job.

Poor Miss K, she's crazier than she ever was.  Whew, she's all happy-happy-joy-joy and then, BAM! like Emeril Lagasse, she's thrown spice in your eye and you never saw it comin'.  I wonder, how long this will go on?  Because we've done this before, will it be easy to adapt or will we continue to grapple week after week after miserable week?  I surely hope not.  

I'm gonna do my darnedest to keep our reduced family content.  I'll offer my empty bed to little monkeys who miss daddy any day.  We'll share picnic lunches amongst the ants and spend our days cuddling long, floppy-eared Walkers and red-feathered ladies.  She and I will lay beneath our favorite tree and read until we become drowsy, all the while he'll excavate the sand box and have Monster Jam rallies.  And we'll pray, pray and pray some more.  I'm stopping there.  That's enough of the blues.  And moving on.

Miss K is absolutely dying to send out invitations for our party which is still almost 7 weeks away. ~sigh~ And I may or may not have prepared a long, long wish list of jewels which are conveniently organized on a spreadsheet cuz I just might be a total nerd like that. Oh well, quirks are quirks and I've learned to embrace mine.   It's OK, I have awesome, awesome friends (in which I won't name any names but, you know who you are) who share some of these same obsessive compulsive issues. (i.e. storing your shoes in the box, among other things; wanting your house to be spotless, including clean sheets and carpets before leaving for vacation, regardless of the fact that your pet-sitter will not be staying at your house - it'll just be the animals and do Max and Kolby really care if you dusted?)   Glad I got that off my chest, thankyouverymuch.

I've been asking all week, "Is it Friday yet?"  Although, Tuesday nights could replay all week, as long as there was ladies' Bible study and a gargantuan bowl of Mrs. G's chicken salad.  If you haven't been, you really should come.  We have an amazing time together, learn lots about God's word and gorge ourselves on the most superlative food you've ever put in your mouth.  (Call me, we'll talk.)  Anyway, here's to the weekend and no work!

worry tries to set up camp

The more days go by, the more I begin to question..."Will there be _______?" 

The wild?

Will stress go on hiatus

while we walk through the fields for an hour or two?

Will there be feathers to find?

And trees to climb?

Will we live in a house with a postage-stamp yard

surrounded by sidewalks and paved streets?

Or will there be quiet creaks to soak little puppy bellies and toes in?

Will we ever raise another red-feathered flock

in an old rustic shed with peeling red paint?

Sometimes I think these questions are odd.

Shouldn't I be worried about having a bigger house, more land?

No, those are just worldly possessions.

And I've come to sincerely realize and truly appreciate that

it's not what you have,

it's what you make of it.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm not crazy yet for

being so fanatical about this escapade.

Will a thirteen-hour ride make us all bonkers?

Of course it will.

{This is the part where I believe we're absolutely nuts.}

I'll miss our chickens.

The walks we'd go on with the dogs behind the house.

I'll miss sweet, sweet Daisy.

I can't imagine leaving her behind,

but it's what he says we have to do.

Worry tries to set up camp but,

we'll find new things to do,

new places to go.

We'll meet new people.

And I'll keep telling myself,

it'll all be OK.

Matthew 6:34

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow,

for tomorrow will worry about itself.

Each day has enough trouble of its own."

my heart aches

She remains unenthusiastic about moving, but I can't blame her.  If I were her age, I wouldn't be excited about leaving, starting over at a new school, being the new girl.  She knows everyone here, all the teachers, just about every fellow student, the shortcuts to class.  She's still good friends with a girl who she attended preschool with.  When you're eleven, it doesn't get any better than that. 

God knows, the summer before I went to middle school, I had nightmares about not being able to open my locker or being late to class because I was lost inside the school.  Not that it doesn't matter, but this coming year, she would've been changing schools and heading over to the middle school anyway.  It's different though, all of her friends would've been there with her, to endure the changes, the stress.  It's just not gonna be the same.  It makes me acutely aware of the lump in my throat and the heavy ache in my heart for this girl.

She's comfortable.  Unconsciously, that's what you desire as a child.  Trust and comfort.  On the other hand, we're older, we've mellowed and now we're ready for some adventure.  So again, I drop this in God's hands, pray that He'll ease the tension in her heart, and that we'll be able to fill this girl with love and reassurance so that it's not such a burden.  We'll all have our own ordeals, but somehow it feels crucial that we be there for her the most.  She's somewhat fragile, sensitive.  Her emotions are running high due to that in between phase of being a child and becoming a young lady, hormones.  They're all over the chart and sometimes she's normal, sometimes she's a blubbering mess.  Oh let's be honest here, that's females for ya.

I'm hoping our move will be this summer.  It'd be nice to get settled and acquainted as best we could before school starts.  Time enough for her to find a few friends.  All these things, they're in His hands.  I keep reminding her of how charming and lovable she is and that comes from within.  It's not something that can be purchased, it's who you are.  She has so many friends and that means something.  In any case, we'll continue to encourage our children and as quoted over at Seventy Piggies, "love them up tall."  I adore that phrase.

If you're wondering, will we ever get that thumb out of his mouth?  Yep, I'm wondering the same thing myself.  Right now, it's feeling impossible.