Well, from my post yesterday you can guess, excitement snuck in. Really, it didn't sneak in. It kicked the door down and shoved a double barrel shotgun in my face and I put down my baseball bat and surrendered. I fell hostage to the anxiety that settled in and resided with me all the livelong day. The same goes for today and I keep telling myself to drop it, let it go, give it a swift kick in the rear cuz this all might be for nothing. But my hope remains in the Lord. I know what I want. And I want it now. But it's His plan. In His time. His perfect time.
I was privileged to get off at noon today. Still not sure if that's a blessing or a curse? At work,
I knelt down and prayed, crying out to God that my hope would not come back void. That my excitement wouldn't be a waste. That my ever talented, loving husband would suffer no more. That whatever His will is, we would accept it. I told Him how fortunate and thankful we have been to have the living arrangement we have and maybe it's time for us to move on. Maybe, this is His plan.
I got a few good minutes of peace out of that conversation with God. Now, that's all I'm praying for. His perfect, all-consuming peace.